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Monday, February 19, 2007
In Praise of Bald Britney
If you’ve been whoring yourself to pleasant Nazis since you were a child, it would be mighty traumatic to wake up one day and realize…..Oops.
As a jackbooted cryptofascist society, we take it personally when our slave-girls get ideas that they should belong to themselves. We feel hurt and betrayed, and lather up our puritan outrage. We grab the pitchforks and pine-clubs, and mob together for a good-old-fashioned witch-burning.
When you are being paraded through the streets and publicly humiliated – hell, why not shave your head? The tar will wash off easier...plus it’s an act of resistance.
Not the Best Head
What’s the point in donning the starve-spangled bikini and Barbie hair weeds, when they were your Nazi lapdance uniform, and you're the new Poland?
Better to be bald like Gandhi, far away, spinning your own humble, homespun diaper.
Everyone looks ridiculous crawling around in the mud while they’re re-planting themselves.
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COMMENTS
Who hasn't shaved their head in the middle of a nervous breakdown?! If Britney's people are reading this I'd like to pitch a musical version of "Girl, Interrupted" with Britney as Daisey Randone. Call me!
Posted by: steven at February 19, 2007 1:12 PM
britney's head isn't britneys's, it's OURS!
there are so many apostrophes in that sentence.
--JVS
Posted by: jan von sontag at February 19, 2007 1:39 PM
Susan Atkins cries foul! "Let's see if Britney will get out there and work for Charlie!" Squeaky Fromme sues for copyright.
I personally think it was a brave move and I'm looking foward to "The Lion and The Cobra and the Justin" comeback disc!
Posted by: Super Amanda at February 19, 2007 3:57 PM
You know, when Britney was being bitch-slapped by America for the Carseat Tragedy and the Dropped Baby Dilemma, she mentioned to the press that she had gotten a long-distance pep-talk from Sinead in Ireland. Of course, Sinead had just become preggers with one of her own offspring (all four--count 'em!-- have different babydaddies) and was being mildly pilloried for that fact in the Irish press.
If this new 'do is a sign that La Brit looks up to Sinead, then there is some hope for her career as a potentially talented musician (which she has not been heretofore), but little hope that her public relations skills will improve. Sinead's talent is enormous, but her talent for derailing her own success (even with the best intentions) is of equal magnitude.
Again, Cintra is right on target with her commentary. Every fucking BALD anchor-MALE on national and network news has been shaking his head in sorrow at the "sadness" of this "situation." The shellack-headed female anchorbots are pursing their lips and practically crying silicone tears. Even if drugs and/or hormones DID make Spears do it, there's still no reason to single-out "baldness by choice" as the ultimate sign of "trouble." SO friggin' SEXIST!
Spears quite deliberately (and with the cheeziest guile) flashed her "pocketbook" to the paparazzi and millions of her young, impressionable "fanbase," yet our porn-fried society thinks a public display of her *cranial* haircut is MORE worrisome?!?
Whoah--certainly, the apocalypse lurks...somewhere. No wonder the rest of the world thinks this nation is utterly off the boil.
Posted by: Ian at February 20, 2007 2:56 PM
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