Spooky and true, Steven. I can tell you that, even here in the SoCal desert (where a decent vegetable garden is nigh impossible to cultivate), I have noticed a truly freakish decline in bee activity over the last two summers, particularly.

We have several varieties of honeybees here, and killer bees (along with Killer Bee "Handling" Companies). The summer before last, I remarked to some friends that it was "weird" how we are able to have lunch outside in June and not be as bothered by inquisitive bees as the prior summer.

Last summer--hardly a bee to be seen. The only ones I saw were the ones I saved from drowning in the pool when they sort of "dip and sip" to take their drink, and sometimes end-up as floaters.

This approaching summer--nada. I haven't yet seen a honeybee...even in the pool. This is the time of year when they normally start to get busy, too. I have a lemon tree and various desert-appropriate flowering plants about the place, and the bees used to be on those blossoms by the hundreds.

Not this year.

About a month ago, they interviewed a local beekeeper in KMIR about the "flux" in the bee "business." He seemed bee-wildered.

Then, I gave the bee-cellphone articles a cursory reading, just a week or so ago.

If you've noticed it, and I've noticed it, and specialists are finally starting to babble about it in print, then something is truly amiss.

Your ref to Voltaire was delish. How delish? Last night in bed I was reading the conversation between Alyosha and Kolya in 'Brothers K' wherein Kolya pledges his admiration for Voltaire and Alyosha twits him about it, but in a good way.

Through the voice of Elder Zosima's "flashbacks" in the same tome, Dostoyevsky makes an astonishing plea for an ecological "morality" within the framework of his wider moral treatise. There can be no doubt that Dostoyevsky was highly influenced by Voltaire--probably in spite of himself. The text, particularly in the Alyosha-Kolya scene I mentioned above, is very telling. Dostoyevsky grants that Voltaire was probably not the atheist he was made out to be, nor was he as big a fan of the human species as he has been made out to be.

To me, the proof is not only in Voltaire's treatments, but in Dostoyesvky's Voltaire-ish 'Zosima monologues,' wherein he explicitly (and astonishingly, for the time and place!) expounds upon the need to venerate/support even the insects, the bees(!), for their irreplaceable function in the entire fabric of this delicate existence.

God, I could go on, but I'll only say: great post. I hope your bees come back, too.

Posted by: Ian "Where ARE the Bees?" Ransom at April 19, 2007 5:43 PM

I miss dirt and gardening so much....when i lived at the top of Olive and Boren in Seattle i had the most incredible roof top garden...then, when we bought the housboat, i'd go and get as many greens as possible that could fit on our fat, flat slab of concrete, sorta pathetic.....

and just yesterday, I tried to repot this 'thing' into two little things and there was dirt all over my kitchen..I can't wait until I actually get to live in the country and compost with my little colette and godot and their two future cousins, gigi and gaston, all four, just running amok, no more mme neat freak....when growing up, after we moved from SF we had a reprieve from the city, a simple but lovely cabin east of Seattle, both my parents grew up in the city but luved nature, walks, birding, flyfishing, etc..the only electronic gizmo was the phone that quacked like a duck, and now that I recall, it was a wooden duck....

what's my carbon footprint...i don't wanna know...at least i'm not breeding and adopting little consumers by the dozen...haven't owned a car in yrs, jist a 250 cc honda that's waiting to be stolen on someone's terrace in rome..

Love the idea of your garden, with your italian tomatoes...wish i could give sprinkle them w/a bit of volcanic ash and sing to them in itlian..but i think you do better...they must taste gorgeous...

Sigh...

Posted by: bay at April 19, 2007 5:53 PM

Ian, I'm truly disturbed to hear that bees are scarce in Palm Springs. On even the dreariest days I remember the High Desert was alive with bees in the mesquite, Joshua Trees and ocotillos, doubly so when the entire desert would explode in bloom after the Spring rains.

I also wasn't expecting the learned discourse on Voltaire and Dostoyevsky, but by now I should know that you have all of Literature at your mental fingertips.

I feel absolutely desolate telling you that my nightstand is a life support system for Hard Sci-Fi novels.

The bee thing has me very worried, I'm used to reading about dystopian futures, not living on the cusp of one. Alarmist? Perhaps, but I'm not Pangloss.

Posted by: steven 'dirty fingernails" felty at April 19, 2007 6:23 PM

Bailey, I must have a garden. I love cities, but if I were living in one I'd have to get a community garden plot or lease something out in the country to get my fix. Gardening is an exercise in hope and it gives me great pleasure.

I had an idea to import volcanic ash from the slopes of Vesuvius, but the carbon footprint would be hideous, so I place little pieces of beach glass from Liguria in with the basil and tomatoes and hope they feel the vibe. The tomatoes have struck a deal with me, I won't sing and they'll produce 300 pounds in a sixteen foot row.

Posted by: steven "get off my lawn" felty at April 19, 2007 6:32 PM

Oh, don't go thinking that my own bedstand is some 60 year-old virgin uni- librarian's wet dream.

Believe me--for every Dostoyevsky, there is a Clive Barker or a Neil Gaiman. For every Kafka there is a Terry Pratchett (all good writers!).

I play a nice little trick upon myself: one hour of bedtime reading with Clive, or Terry, or Neil, or Matheson...

...then two hours with my real BFFs: Fyodor, Viriginia, Franz, Albert, blah blah blah. (I usually go to bed at 8:30 or 9, so I have a good three hours of stuff that is better than...well not better than sex, but pretty damned close).

Dostoyevksy's work (and particularly Brothers K) is Biblical to me. Screw the OT prophets, screw the Pauline missives--just give me Fyodor D.

That being said--yes: there is a bee crisis here.

Again, two summers ago, I could open the side doors off my den and the sound of bees buzzing in the lemon tree would be the sweetest music imaginable.

I have the biggest mesquite tree in the neighborhood--gargantuan, a 60-footer--toward the back of my yard. You can imagine the sounds of the bees in that mammoth thing. I love my mesquite tree (and even my neighbors do) because it provides an unbelievable amount of shade over the north side of my home and the south side of my neighbor's home, when it really spreads its feathery wings.

Yes, it "shits" terrifically every year and is a constant source of work, except in the most wintry of months here (which, let's face it, is only February these days). But the bees are NOT here this year. That inimitable sound is missing.

Luckily, the hummingbirds are still around, but I've had to plant MORE of what they like (in addition to stocking their "feeder") because shit is NOT staying alive for very long. It's creeping me out, now that I'm dwelling on the bee thing. Could this be a reason?

To crib a line from Muppet philosophy: "It's not easy being green."

I recycle like crazy, but something ominous makes me not believe in the efficacy of it all.

But I can't think like that.

Bailey, I'm going to plant a hedge of fragrant Mexican Sage, tomorrow, in your honor.

Kisses,

ian

Posted by: Ian at April 19, 2007 7:11 PM

I try to set aside some time for serious reading, but there never seems to be a quiet moment for it until I get into bed and the combination of my reading glasses and a warm comforter puts me to sleep in minutes.

Posted by: steven at April 19, 2007 8:15 PM

Shit man, can someone please do something because I use a lot of honey in my tea...

The last I saw a bunch of bees, they were all gathering around Knoxville's package in Jackass for the Beekini. Maybe that's what happened?

Knoxville is hawt.

I like hummingbirds and butterflies and ladybugs and dragonflies and other little faggy creatues...

And now I will "Mitigate comment spam by typing the first letter of this sentence here:"

(Mr. Brink appears to have started his day with a 40 oz. malt liquor followed by a martini lunch and a selection of prescription tapas for dinner, steven)

Posted by: BumbleBrink at April 19, 2007 9:40 PM

Dude! Steven hacked into my comment!!! What the hell!?

Posted by: Brinkaholic at April 20, 2007 12:20 AM

Ian, how prescient...if you knew what was in my first chapter.....merci beacoup M.....what a particularly pleasant thought...

now listen, i have a question, i've just pulled my 'essential clive barker' outta the library, nestled in btwn Nin and Pound, any message there? doesn't matter, what does, is why is this the guy I can't get into....please educate me, inspire me, something...

shamefully....

Posted by: Bay at April 20, 2007 7:42 AM

Brinky, I promise to use my hacking powers only for good, or my own amusement; whatever comes first.

Posted by: steven at April 20, 2007 9:40 AM

Its so totally funny. But I dunno who wrote that bottom thing about the 40 oz. In my comment. Was it you. Steven?

Someone tell me!!!!

Posted by: Brink at April 20, 2007 2:51 PM

The only thing I took from my "Analysis of Ecological Communities" from this past term was actually regarding the mysterious bee dissapearances that have been plaguing the States.

Turns out that it most likely is the varroa bee mite, which focuses on the introduced bee species Apis mellifera- and not wild ones. This reliance on a single non-native species to pollinate entire crops is a risky strategy, and surprise! You just got pwned. These imported bees live in honeybee boxes within the orchards, and they go around and they do their thing. Wild bees are ecologically redundant (i.e. they perform the same task as the imported ones) but they have a much better chance at survival in the wild, and they have somewhat of a natural resistance to these nasty mites. So why don't we just switch over to the wild ones? Uh, perhaps because they're WILD? Only organic farms that are near wild bee habitats could have a chance to meet all of their pollination needs; and frankly, we don't have a hell of a lot of those. Thanks chemical consumer culture! (Ha! Alliteration. Bam, bitches! And again! And again! SNAP CRACKLE POP.)

But why are we fussing over bees in the first place?

Ho-ho!

Farmers who do not have wild bees nearby must rent imported honeybees at a high cost. But these bees are getting, how shall we say, buttfucked at the moment. Farmers who do have wild bees are protected from the problems that arise with sudden scarcity of the imported bastards, but it's organic farming most of the time, and that's just expensive anyways. Farmers who cannot obtain pollination services may need to switch crops to those that do not require pollinators. And how does this affect you, common consumer? Higher prices for your fruit! Enjoy.

Example of a crops:

Almonds (100% reliant on honeybees). Annual crop worth close to $2.2 billion US.

Apples (90% reliant). $2.1 billion US

Cultivated Blueberries (90% reliant). $500 million US

Oranges (27% reliant). $1.8 billion US

Soybeans (only 5% reliant, but...) $19.7 billion US

Damn you bees, damn you! Why are you so important?!

Posted by: Andrew at April 20, 2007 3:49 PM

Of course it was me Brinky, who else but Cintra or myself would string together the words "tapas" and "pharmecutical"?

Posted by: steven at April 20, 2007 4:08 PM

Awesome,

You should have announced me coming out of the closet or something...HAHHAHHH

I think if i had access to people comments like that everyone would murder me...

And for the record. I don't drink 40s...I drink REAL beer...

And I like women. And honey in my tea...so has anyone figured this bee thing out or what?

Posted by: Brinkles at April 20, 2007 4:16 PM

Andrew, I'm inclined to blame the mites as well, but the hives are empty and there's little evidence of mites or dead bees in these hives. I suspect there's a secondary problem like non-approved consumer application of pesticides and herbicides as well. The idea that someone can walk into a Home Depot and buy these chemicals without a licensing procedure is ridiculous. The natural alternatives are just as dangerous, neem oil is touted as an organic pest control and anti-fungal, but it is deadly for bees. I had to let half of my garden go last season because of a heavy infestation of cucurbit beetles and I was unwilling to spray because of the bees.

I have a pretty decent population of native bees, carpenter bees and wasps in my yard so I don't think I'm going to be hand pollinating anything just yet, but I live in an area that relies on agriculture; grapes, stone fruits, corn and soybeans so I'm worried.

Posted by: steven at April 20, 2007 4:27 PM

Brinky, I'd never say you were gay, it isn't as funny as portraying a Guinness and Stella Artois drinker as a common paper-bag sucking alky. Really, it's difficult to find anything to rank on you with since you share the best material about yourself already.

The bees, probably mites and chemicals; cell phone emanations, not so much.

Posted by: steven at April 20, 2007 4:34 PM

Yes, that's my technique...

When you throw it all out there, and don't give a crap...no one can have shit on you...

Know what I'm saying? it's the ultimate PR...

"Yea, I did it. So what?"

Posted by: Brinkadelic at April 20, 2007 6:18 PM

Just a heads-up, my cherry trees are blooming today and the bees are here, but they're outnumbered about three to one by the smaller native bees. I think I'm going to buy a bee box and keep a hive at the back of the garden, hopefully the dogs will stay clear.

Posted by: steven at April 22, 2007 10:31 AM

Clear skies, cherry blossoms & and honey! The weather is always good when I visit back home...

NJ/NY miss me...

Posted by: Brink at April 23, 2007 4:30 AM