Dear China, India et al.,

May we please have our manufacturing, call center and high tech jobs back? We don't know what we were thinking when we converted our economy into people who gathered information and people who serviced the information gatherers (would you like fries with that data-mining?), but we're having second thoughts.

We're looking into going back to streetcars and trains and we thought it might be a good idea to make them here and save a few bucks on shipping and lead paint lawsuits.

KTHXS Bye!

PS. Thanks for the awesome GHB precursor laden toys, the kids love 'em!

Posted by: steven at November 9, 2007 8:58 AM

To paraphrase Snoop Doggy Dogg in the classic economic treatise 'Gin 'N Juice.'

With so much drama in the market you see,
It’s kinda hard being Bush or Dick Cheney
But we, somehow, some way,
Keep coming up with evil ass shit like every single day.
May, I, kick a little somethin’ for Chinese,
And, make a few bucks as I breeze, through,
Two in the morning and the war’s still jumpin'
Cuz no grownups are home.

Actually, the low dollar is kind of not all bad. It increases foreign demand for cheaper US stuff, but makes sure we American proles don’t buy more Benzos. This lowers trade deficit, increases US sales, and ups foreign investment. Basically, the weak sawbuck is the equivalent of US companies donning sexy lingerie in the hopes of arousing fat cats in Dubai and China who seek US companies with sound fundamentals for some hard core fun. Everything bad about a weak buck (high cost for foreign goods and travel, possible inflation which keeps interest rates high) really hurts ye regular folk. Um – and with that, Captain Didactic returned to his Fortress of Over Explanation. Thank you and good night.

Posted by: Bob Mundial at November 9, 2007 10:03 AM

Actually, Bob, thanks a lot for that somewhat mollifying clarification. It makes me feel the weenciest bit better. I mean, I subscribe to the Economist, but you know, I really only read the cartoons.

I figured that had to be all part of the Lion King Chain o' Life, this rather appalling dip (which also has the advantage of decreasing the actual street value of our national debt). Still, I think it's all in service to the crack pipe of Military Keynesianism and I think we're playing footsie with the Chinese, trying to make them the new Soviet Union so we can have eternal war for eternal Adnan Kashoggi motherfuckers to be smoking Indo and sippin' on gin and juice...

With they mind on they money and they money on they mind.

Word is bond.
Peace.

P.S. Steven, didn't you give me a Hello Kitty Rohypnol lip gloss when I was 14?

Posted by: Cintra "Schooled By Snoop" Wilson at November 9, 2007 10:12 AM

Who was that masked Mundial?

Posted by: Cintra "Color Me Impressed" Wilson at November 9, 2007 10:15 AM

"arousing fat cats in Dubai and China who seek US companies with sound fundamentals for some hard core fun"

And with that Craigslist and WSJ fused.

Bob Mundial for Emperor!

Posted by: steven at November 9, 2007 10:18 AM

Cintra, You're confusing me with the Father of a certain Northern California city's Mayor.

I did however bring a Garfield Pinata filled with dime bags of skag and fresh rigs to your Sweet Sixteen party.

Posted by: steven at November 9, 2007 10:23 AM

That has to be a true story because the only things I remember about that party are things it has taken me a really long, expensive time to unremember, through the help of different drugs.

When Craig's List and WSJ fuse, does that mean that Rupert Murdoch will put headlines on the front like :

////64M: MY MARKET DATA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME!!! AFTERNOON SPANKINGS....////

But I agree, if we're mired in an imperial dynasty anyway, Bob should be emperor.

Posted by: Cintra "Drugs Have Ruined My Memory" Wilson at November 9, 2007 10:42 AM

It’s way more than footsie Ms. CW. We are full on tongue wrestling and heavy-petting the Chinese in the back seat of global politics with the hope of arranging a soft-core roundelay of shoot me don’t shoot me cold war foreplay to keep our National Security pump primed and, dare I say, erect. Military Keynesianism is most definitely in the house. That MK crack pipe is like Pentagon Viagra. Or, to paraphrase Black Sheep, You can get with this, or you can get with that. I think you’ll get with this, cuz war is where it's (the money) at. Thank you all kindly for the shout outs. (Or is it shouts out?)

Posted by: Bob Mundial at November 9, 2007 10:49 AM

Most, if not all of your memories are the result of reading Hunter S. Thompson on hallucinogenics. Oh and Satanic Ritual Abuse.

M4M ME: SUBMISSIVE MANUFACTURER IN US NORTHEAST. YOU BE REPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT WITH LARGE CASH RESERVES BLOW AND GO NO RECIPROCATION ASIANS A+++
I AM 4REAL UB2 ;-p

Posted by: steven at November 9, 2007 10:52 AM

The Lion King Chain O' Life and Rupert's latest headlines are highlarious. And you compare Bear, Stearns pay outs with Goldman Sachs pay outs this year, you'll swear that Craigslist DID fuse with WSJ. That gravy train known as Wall Street is grinding to a halt -- and soon.

Posted by: Bob Mundial at November 9, 2007 10:59 AM

Um.....gurgle ....I think I love you, Bob.

Have you got an Raytheon-Built Upgraded Maverick air-to-ground missile? I have Aqua Dots.

Posted by: Cintra "Back Seat Boeing-Boeing" Wilson at November 9, 2007 11:20 AM

Cintra, you are most sweet. I used to have the Maverick Air to Ground. But I upgraded to the Joint Common Missile. You see, the Maverick is electro-optically guided. But the JCM has a heat-seeking infrared sensor. So it performs especially well in operations that involve moving targets in urban landscapes. And nothing speeds a mission along like a few Astro-Dots right before launch.

Posted by: Bob "Consolation of Penetraton" Mundial at November 9, 2007 12:03 PM

Remind me to tell you about the time I confused my "go" pills with my "no-go" pills.

Posted by: steven at November 9, 2007 12:07 PM

Allora, the time of wailing & gnashing of teeth is upon us at last! After reading this sobering comparison, you may want to party like it's 1929:

http://www.energybulletin.net/23259.html

I'm stockpiling booze as my hedge against hyperinflation!

Good night & good luck!
Wayni-ji

Posted by: Wayni-ji at November 9, 2007 4:57 PM

My simpleton brain is finding all this hard to follow. I'm lost. Too any big words 'n shit...

I did spend the entire day engulfed by skateboarders and then find 11 cents on the street! How much is that worth in China or wherever they speak Mandarin?

Huh huh, uhhhh, he said... penetration...

Cintra, you know I edit video right? Whatchoo posting shit on Craigslist for?

Posted by: Brink at November 11, 2007 9:17 AM

Brinky, $0.11 US is 0.82 Yuan. You're rich!

Posted by: steven at November 12, 2007 5:39 PM

Nice. I can start funding my trip to that other new planet...

Posted by: Brinkles at November 12, 2007 10:03 PM

Are you taking that crazy RV to Planet Brink? The interior looks like my dentist's office in 1968.

Posted by: steven at November 13, 2007 9:25 AM

Ya, its my new Shaggin' Wagon.

Posted by: Brinkles at November 13, 2007 6:38 PM